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Me and my CC are no longer friends

Sometimes I look back and realize how much I’ve changed. The other day i was cleaning out my closet and usually it would of taken me like 2 days to clean that shit out. I remember owning 100 sunglasses and now I cant even find them. I use to owned at 120 pairs of shoes, now is 20 or less and that includes my sneakers and sandals. I think back and say to myself why the fuck did I have so many pair of shoes. I didn’t even wore half, nah more than half of my wardrobe that was in my closet.  Most of CC were maxed out due to my shopping addiction. But I have confession to make, I would shop to make me feel better about my depression. Shopping was a way to “heal” my depression at least temporary. Well I’m here to remind you that It didn’t. Years later I would have to face the consequences with my spending habits.

My material things and I were friends, well at least I thought we were. And the sad reality that many of us go threw it. Unfortunately we have created a society where we  are attached to material things and we have defined our value based on the shoes we where. I would never forget buying a pair of Loboutin shoes for $700 at that time that was my rent money value. I sold it on ebay for less than i bought it for. Never will i go over my income to impress people. That’s what it is we over spend to impress people that do not give a fuck about us at all. Listen, I got into a over $8,000 credit card debt and took me close to three years to pay it off . I know to some is not a lot and really isn’t but it was to me because i had very little income to pay it off with. I was living paycheck to paycheck for 1 year and had to force myself to get a second job. My credit has suffer because of it and I had to go to court with one of my creditors.

Even in the mist of my financial crisis, i was still spending. What made me change was someone giving me an advice that till this day is what I use if i ever want to splurge. My friends mother was very poor living in Dominican Republic, and she wanted a very cute dress but she couldn’t afford it. She worked very hard and three years later that dress she wanted was still there and she could of afford this time around. The lesson was if you cant get something now, is okay because it will always be there or even a better option. Don’t carry a $200 purse if you cant afford a metro card ride. That lesson has stuck by me forever.  It goes back to the be grateful for what you have now then what you don’t have. Lesson learned.

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