Stop asking me when I’m having kids

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I’m 29 (Ill be 30 January 2017), my sister is pregnant with her second baby and people are asking me when I’m going to have kids. I just want to say. STOP ASKING ME WHEN I’M HAVING KIDS. That question boils my blood! If I can get payed for how many people ask me that question, my student loan would be payed right now.  In my culture  the norm is to go to school have kids and get married by the time you are 30. If you don’t have that, you are looked at as Old and weird. WTF? What if I don’t want to right now? What if I’m trying to get ME together so I can be a good mother/ What if I don’t want to have kids/ What ever it is, is my choice and God when i decide to have kids.  My reproductive plans are none of your business.

Why do woman have to be the ones to have the pressure of having a child but a man doesn’t (unless you are married)? Now I’m not shitting on woman with kids. Having a child is a blessing and will change your life; is a wonderful thing that you can carried life for 9 months and birth it.  I’m not screaming ” #TEAMNOKIDS” no know of that nonsense. People should be more sensitive when asking that question because you don’t know what someone is going through.

When the when you are having kids question is asked, people don’t realize that some woman have fertility issues. Tyra Banks welcomed her first baby via surrogate this year but she has discussed her fertility struggle and miscarriages. People will always ask her that question and she will cry because she really had pregnancy issues. You don’t know what people are struggling with or what type of health issues they are experiencing. There can be a problem or simply they don’t want it at this time. When I was 23, I had a miscarriage and It was the most terrible thing I felt at that time that happened to me, I was like “What did I do wrong?” . Looking back to it, the timing wasn’t right. Many woman have several miscarriages  and that question can bring a lot of stress and depression. An article in Self magazine reported that, “One in eight American couples will experience infertility, and 1.1 million women will undergo treatment this year.”  My dear readers, I’m not placed under NO type of pressure because I’ll have my kid (or kids) when ever the timing is right. Life for me just begun.

There was times when I felt I wanted one because mostly I felt lonely and needed that to fill the void. I was so wrong. When random people asked my age and if I have kids , I tell them no they like “good” and then “but why?”. Sorry if having a kid at my age didn’t fit society’s standards. You look at me as weird, okay fine. I look at me as a woman becoming comfortable in her own skin and building a foundation for her future family whenever God decided. I’m saying is that single over 30, married over 30, whatever, whenever you choose to have a child, choose it when you please not when society wants. Ugghhhh, that question has become super annoying.


2 thoughts on “Stop asking me when I’m having kids

  1. I so hear ya. Having gone through personal health issues in last 2yrs, along with being told by doctors to avoid getting pregnant because my body is weak to bear a kid, it boils me too when people ask when you having kids. I used to tell people about my health issues before, but now I’ve stopped because they don’t care. They would still ask the same question when they’ll meet next! Give me a break! I want to be perfectly healthy before I have a kid, so I can give her or him the life they deserve and not suffer because I’m sick and can’t take care of them.


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