So I joined the #bossbabe academy and I met Lauren Wiley . She is half of the creater of the blog Meet the outsider dedicated to woman that are well aware of themselves. I started reading her blog that she shares with her partner Vanessa Hobson and was very impressive with the content of her site. I reached out to her and asked if she would like to write for my site and she accepted it.
I asked her to tell more about her story and how she came to be where she is:
I’ve always felt that I was somewhat “weird” or a little “different” in terms of my way of thinking about life. Once I hit my mid 20’s, that notion came into full effect. I had the pleasure of reading a book called “the power of now” by Eckhart Toll a couple years ago. It was then that I realized a number of things-the thoughts we put into our heads can all be controlled if we analyze what we are thinking. It was time for me to stop filling my head with what I like to call “noise” and to take in the world around me at each given moment. It’s so hard for most people to do this…to actually look around and see the beauty around you in that present moment. I felt that I was mentally unstoppable!
But then 2015 came along. I like to reference this year as the “Year of heaven and hell”. The one man I knew I could always count on became severely ill with lung cancer. He passed in June of 2015.
Daddy had spoiled his only child. Daddy did everything for his only child.
And then something even better happened. My ex of six years decided to end our dying relationship during one of the hardest times of my life. This was in March of 2015. I remember telling him while my father was sick that no man could ever care for me like my father. He got upset once I told him that. Funny thing is, a couple months later after that, he broke up with me and found an entire knew girlfriend lol (point proven). Didn’t hear from him much after. Not even when my father actually passed. Of course in the midst of this happening, something even greater happens…
Doctors misdiagnose me as having lymphoma. Freaking lymphoma while all of this is happening. I had lost 20lbs in such a short time period, was going through severe depression/suicidal thoughts, feeling so lost…and you tell me I have lymphoma?! Not to mention the day of finding out this diagnosis, I find out my grandmother (my fathers mom) had passed.
I was LOST. I didn’t see a purpose in living anymore. I didn’t see a purpose in BEING anymore. Nothing could have saved me at that point.
But I hung in there. Something in me isn’t built for giving up completely. Something in me won’t allow myself to stay at a low point. I became determined.
I became determined not to give up. I realized that everyone, not just myself, will go through hard times. But having resiliency is vital to life. I wanted to be in control of my life, not letting life be in control of me. I refused to let it win that way.
Yes, I lost my father and grandmother, but I gained two guardian angels. Yes I lost a boyfriend, but escaped a toxic relationship in which I realized I wasn’t with someone who really cared for me or knew how to. That in itself is scary. If we were to get married and things hit the fan…I would have no true support from him. I am so blessed to have escaped that. Yes I was misdiagnosed with lymphoma, but the true diagnosis was something called Blastomycosis. A much less serious diagnosis than lymphoma. I am doing well, and currently have switched to a much healthier lifestyle as a result.
What I’ve learned is this: it is perfectly fine to be sad, miserable, teary eyed, etc. But give yourself time. Dust it off. And own your life. You only get one. Everyone dies at some point. So why not enjoy that life. Enjoy each and every moment. I walk outside and look at flowers thinking “life is such a beautiful thing”. Being conscious of what’s around you in that moment instead of living in worry, dread, and fear is honestly a waste of time. All you have IS the present moment. It is because of everything I’ve been through, I have started to put things in order that I have always wanted to do. This is one of the reason’s my co-writer and myself have started our blog meettheoutsiders.com. To help us document conscious living. We value not conforming and remaining authentic to self in the midst of individuals constantly wanting to copy.
There are a number of other positives that have happened this year, but that list is extremely long. I believe this is a result of changing my mindset and not giving up. I am happy. I am currently in a much healthier relationship. I am in control of my life and pursing my dreams. Life will be tough! But I’m a fighter. I’m prepared to fight.
I would tell my younger self that none of the that none of the things I worried about will matter once I got older. At all. Advice for a girl that wants to start a business: do it scared. Do it now. You’ll figure it all out as you go. Find a mentor. You only live once. So just go for it.
A word that describes me: resilient